It’s been so long since I last wrote a post. I can’t even call this a New Year’s post anymore. It’s like 2017 has come and gone. I’m not sure if January has seemed like a whole fucking year because of Drumpf or because I truly dislike the school I’m at. It’s not like a whole bunch has happened. My last post was all about me trying to close the door on NYC. Me wondering if I should open communication up with the ace. Me lamenting the fact that Drumpf is president.
I have officially closed the door on NYC in terms of my teaching job I was hanging onto. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I finally made the call to my principal and told her that I would not be coming back to a school that I loved dearly and was paid quite well at. I literally had to put emotions aside while I talked to her and my department head for fear of getting choked up. It’s not like my school in NYC was the fucking promise land of middle schools. I think the fact that my current school is so bad, it’s making me romanticize how good I had it back when I was a veteran teacher at a posh prep school in NYC. Now I’m just a noob teacher at a school full of entitled little assholes who will grow up to be big entitled assholes who will continue to send their asshole spawn to schools I hopefully won’t be teaching at.
In terms of communication with the ace, after months of “should I’s, shouldn’t I’s?”, one random day a couple weeks ago I got an urge that I could not resist to call the ace. And I did. That resulted in a text back from her, and the communication was opened back up. B obviously is not thrilled open this new channel of communication, but I was truly concerned about the ace’s well-being and immigration predicament. Especially with our newly appointed Dear Leader who has absolutely insane ideas about immigration. Or should I say his Alternative Truth Groupies. Communication with the ace has been a bit limited and one-sided. It’s hard to know what I can ask her or what I should say to her. It’s been over a year since we talked. I guess in my mind, this is a do over. A place to begin again. I don’t get the feeling that she cares whether we’re talking or not. And I suppose that’s to be expected. I guess the question I should ask myself is then, why do I care so much about talking to her. I guess it has to do with the fact that I did once upon truly care about her and her well-being. Once upon a time we talked every day for a good long while. Just because the romantic aspect of a relationship falls apart doesn’t mean everything else has to fall apart. I keep in touch with my other exes because I care about them too. Maybe it’s a lesbian thing. Maybe it’s a woman thing. I don’t know. I do know I enjoy talking to all my exes. I enjoy having them in my life. The ace is no different.
Things with B have been on the up and up. She’s dealing with her weight issues. I’m dealing with mine. We’re set to go to Dinah Shore at the end of March for 5 days. B is planning on doing some research involving lesbians and some lesbian sex education too. I hope we survive 5 days of non stop partying. Not sure these old bones can handle it. Speaking of dealing with my weight issues, I have one problem area that collects more fat than other areas, which is my stomach. I’m scheduled to go in for lipo next week to take care of the problem area. The only reason I’m doing it is because I experienced B’s transformation with it, and am a believer. I’m not especially proud to be doing lipo because I feel like it’s the easy way out, but I have enjoyed bigger boobs and ass because of the weight gain which I would for sure lose if I were to lose weight all around. Also, lipo is the process of taking fat cells out of problem areas which means when you do gain back weight, you won’t gain as much in the problem area, unless of course you gain back a ton of weight. Which I don’t plan on doing. I am actually a little embarrassed to admit I’m going in for lipo because I’m not obese. I’m not super overweight. My BMI is normal for my height. It’s just that I’ve always been on the slimmer side. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. And it’s affecting our sex life for sure given that B is attracted to slimmer women and I’m not as slim as I was. That was a whole issue awhile ago, but I’ve gotten over it. I don’t necessarily understand it. But I’m over it. It no longer hurts me to know that if ever I were to gain more weight, B would no longer be sexually attracted to me. It’s just a reality. The price I pay for being in this relationship as Dan Savage would say.
Our little group of lesbian friends is slowly unraveling because where there’s lesbians, there’s drama. In one instance, we have some couple friends who are getting married. We’re hosting their bachelorette party in Vegas. I’ll call them H&L. H is in her 40s and hasn’t had many relationships. L is in her 30s and I think has had quite a few relationships. H has these very strange ideas of how a couple should act with each other. For example, if L goes out by herself, she has a curfew and must get home by 12. On top of that, she’s not supposed to drink very much when she’s out so that she doesn’t get drunk. When they are out together, H&L are glued to the hip. Dancing with just L is not allowed. Even fun joke dancing that women all do. I connect with L better than H, so I would occasionally text L separately about stuff. Last week. L texted me saying that H felt hurt and left out because I texted L “privately”. Wtf? So now, I text them as a unit. Which is weird. I told B about it, and she’s super weirded out about too. She doesn’t want to throw the bachelorette party for them anymore, but we’ve already committed to doing it, so we can’t back out. I hope things even out eventually. It’ll be fine, I guess I just need to see the hard boundaries with the two of them. We also just learned of two other girls, Ja and Ji that were dating but not dating anymore because one of them (Ji) is a cokehead, which is fucking insane. It does explain a few things, but still a little shocking to hear. Our other single women friends are just thirsty as all hell. Constantly just wanting to go out to girl parties to meet women and kiss random ones. Which as an activity is not a terrible thing, but if that’s all you’re doing to meet women, you’re not going to get very far. B is already talking about wanting new friends, even though we just made these other friends.
I’m in Chicago for the weekend to help my brother in law with the kiddos. I still have not spoken to my little sister who is still involved with the asshole pedophile. Hopefully we don’t run into them while we’re out and about with the kids. I’m excited to spend some time with the little rugrats. And also with the bro-in-law.