Things will be different

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Ever get a bad vibe from a day? My day just started off wrong. My little sister left me a voicemail that sounded like she was truly dying. Only uttering the words, I just wanted to tell you I love you. Found out one of my best friends boyfriend is cheating on her. My car insurance is not renewing my policy because I filed too many claims!?! (Two in two years is apparently too much) Sat in about a forty five minute meeting with a student’s parent while she told me that I was too strict. I can’t figure out what color to paint my living room. And I still don’t know how to move forward with my lady friend, even though I desperately want to.

Thankfully, my little sister did end up in the ER, but she’s home safe now. I found out that just because one insurance company doesn’t renew your policy, it doesn’t mean no one else will take your business. I will eventually figure out what color to paint my living room, I’m sure.

That’s about all the resolution I have. I am completely shocked by my best friend’s boyfriend’s actions. I really liked the guy. Now, I don’t know if I can ever like him again. I am happy to admit that I am a strict teacher. I’m not going to apologize for that. And while, I just got home from another dinner “hang out” with my lady friend, I still only got a peck on the cheek. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I know she’s trying to be open to dating me again, but at what point do we just take the plunge? It feels like we’re slowing inching our way through cold water in a swimming pool. Every time I start thinking this way, I need to remind myself that she deserves as much time as she needs. I broke up with her because I needed some space and time to figure shit out.

She’s helping me re arrange my living room and possibly re paint it. We text every day. However, once before she used to tag me in all of her dinner pictures on Facebook, she’s not doing it anymore. I can only think that she doesn’t want her friends to know she’s hanging out with me again. I just want things to move forward. Not necessarily back to where it was before, but to something new. It is new. This time around, I’m not dating anyone else. This time around, I know what I want. This time around, I’m looking for something serious. This time around, it will be different.

I promise.

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