Vanilla Sex is Out

Wow, it’s been about a month since I’ve posted anything. I didn’t realize it’s been that long. A ton has happened since the last time I posted. I have found myself in an exclusive, long distance relationship with PhD. She was just here with me over the long weekend, which also happened to be Valentine’s Day weekend coincidentally. PhD had sent me a “Do you want to be my girlfriend” card right after the previous long weekend I spent with her in the Midwest. The card was so cute, and she wrote that I didn’t have to answer right away, but she wanted to let me know where she was at. I really appreciate her honesty, openness, and vulnerability. And while at some point in my past, I would have been scared off by such a quick and open declaration of feelings, this time it didn’t scare me away. I’m not sure if it’s because she doesn’t live here or if what I feel towards her is real or what. I waited until this past weekend to answer her question, in which I told her I wanted to be her girlfriend and I wanted it to be closed. I don’t see the point in an open relationship, especially at the start.

PhD has my full attention. I’ve taken all the dating apps off my phone. Yet again, I don’t know what it is about this woman, but I know I want to be with her. Despite the long distance. We have spent hours on Skype and on the phone with each other. The one thing that I don’t know what to think of is the fact that she talks about her ex a lot. And she asks me a lot of questions about my exes, LF and BG too. I suppose it doesn’t help that there are some major similarities between her and BG.

In terms of LF and BG. I’m back on speaking terms with LF again. I actually ran into LF’s good friends while out with PhD over the weekend. The lesbian community in NYC is so so small. Way too small. I don’t know if they told LF about running into PhD and I. I didn’t mention it, and neither did she. I think eventually I’ll start hanging out with LF again. Maybe. I can happily say that I’m finally over LF. PhD is helping with that. I’m sort of over BG finally too, although she still crosses my mind quite a bit. We had another falling out where she blocked me from her Facebook and over reacted to something. This last over reaction was the final straw for me. I truly saw how unhealthy BG and I’s relationship is/was. I don’t plan on reconnecting with her anytime soon. She probably will never reach out to me again. Maybe that’s a good thing.

I’m starting out something new with PhD. We have a great connection, and we’re super compatible. The sex is amazing. PhD is very open about trying things sexually. I’ve realized that all my other experiences with women have been quite vanilla. I’m excited to open this door up to new possibilities, sexually, with a woman. The fact that we’re long distance means that when we do see each other, sex plays a major role in our visits. We probably had sex quite a few times a day when she was here, and it was awesome. I’m going to be spending my whole spring break with her in the Midwest. I think we’re going to be spending the summer together also. I’m trying to just be very open and honest with her in all my feelings. I’m not allowing myself to be wishy washy with her since that didn’t work out so well last time. I do see myself being with her long-term. She’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. We have many of the same long term goals. Again, time will tell what happens in this relationship, but I am definitely very excited about it.