I realized this weekend that this is the first weekend I’ve spent in the city for a long time. And I didn’t do much with it. Well, I take that back. I didn’t do anything fun with it. I finally joined gym last weekend. I’ve put on a lot of weight since I stopped smoking. I can’t really pinpoint exactly what it is that has caused the excessive weight gain, but I’ve come to a point where I need to slim down again. I don’t like not fitting into any of my pants. I don’t like having to buy all new pants. I liked the weight I was before. I’m going to try my damnedest to lose the weight I gained to fit into my pants again. That’s the goal. After that, then I don’t know. But at least for now, the goal of going to the gym is to fit into all my skinny pants again.
I had the worst wipeout I’ve had since I was probably ten years old. I was hustling on my delivery job this weekend and completely wiped out on the sidewalk in front of a lot of people. If I hadn’t been going so fast, I probably could have caught myself. However, I was full speed ahead and almost smashed into the glass part of the bus stop. I’m sure it looked really funny even though it hurt like hell. And the worst part about all of this is that I completely obliterated the screen of my phone.
So on top of being sore from the gym, and then having two really scraped up knees, one scraped up shoulder and one shattered Iphone, I had a rather slow weekend.
I’m headed back to LA this weekend because it’s PhD’s birthday. The whole every other weekend seeing her seems doable, although it is just starting out. We are in conversation throughout the day also. We probably talk to each other more long distance than if we were to live in the same city. Sometimes it seems a bit much. Like I can’t just chill at home without her wanting to call me or talk to me. But I guess that’s on me to just tell her that I need some time by myself. I spoke with LF briefly at the beginning of the week. She said that she still wasn’t quite ready to talk to me. The funny thing is that PhD is not threatened by LF. I could be friends and hang out with LF and PhD would be perfectly fine with that. And actually I can truly say that I am completely over LF. I truly am. I can hang out with her without thinking about what it would be like to be together again. When I talked with her briefly, it was a very different feeling than the feeling I got with talking to BG. Things with PhD have evened out. She has finally stopped talking about her ex (probably because I brought it up). Me not talking to BG seems to make her more secure about our relationship. Which I’m happy for. I’m slowly accepting the fact that I can’t have BG in my life at the moment. I’m not especially happy about it, but I understand why it needs to be this way.
Soon I will be living alone again. October 1st is the day!!! 10 more days. I’m definitely counting down the days. I don’t know why I thought I would be ok with living with a roommate again. Although this year, I’m going to be so busy working my ass off to afford living alone, I may not even get to enjoy living alone again. Oh, the irony.