Changing with the Wind

I’m back from yet another trip to LA. Had a great time with PhD. We spent a good amount of time in bed, but also out and about exploring new places to eat and drink at. I love new cities. I love exploring them. LA is just so MASSIVE. I feel a little overwhelmed when I think about what I can explore. I don’t even know what to start with. I am so sad that I missed a secret street art show by the artist Hanksy in an abandoned mansion while I was there. It’s a bit like NYC in that anything and everything happens there. Have a favorite artist? I’m sure they’ll go through NYC and LA. Have a favorite restaurant? I’m sure there’s one in NYC and LA. Things feel good with PhD. It feels like we are mutually interested in each other and invested in each others’ lives. And it truly is an investment at this point in time…

I’ve been talking a little more with LF and BG. LF more so than BG. BG hasn’t been too responsive, and I don’t wonder why anymore. I know why, but I don’t know how to fix it. It’s not fixable. I just have to accept it. And hopefully run into her once in awhile. And text once in awhile.  LF is dating again (a guy), which is good. I’m happy for her. I hope this one sticks for her.

PhD texted tonight saying she needed a little space. Not sure what she meant. Women’s moods change with the wind. We had a great Skype chat earlier, she told me she had wanted to surprise me this weekend by coming here and even bought one ticket to get back to LA, but couldn’t find a cheap enough ticket to come here. She asked me to think about whether I wanted her to come, but later while I was working out she sent me a long text listing all the reasons why she shouldn’t come. So I was honest and said I would have rather her surprise me, so she was right that maybe this weekend wasn’t the best time to come. Then she said she needed space. Argh. And I can’t help but think that she had wanted me to say to come anyway because I really wanted to see her. And when I didn’t say that, it put her in a bad mood. Maybe I’m over thinking though. I do that sometimes. I guess we’ll see. Maybe I’m being narcissistic thinking that it’s me. I hate going to bed knowing that she’s not happy about something. But what can one do when you live 2500 miles from your girlfriend?

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