Since my last post, I have been back to LA once and am currently on the way back to LA for a second school interview. This second one is at a former colleague’s current school. Location wise, it’s not in the best location for commuting purposes. However, the school is full of money. And it’s not like I hate driving. I actually really like driving and don’t mind traffic (as long as I’m not late to anything). Just like in NYC you can always blame subway delays for being late, I think in LA you can always blame traffic for being late. And I really like this former colleague. It would be nice to have at least one friend at a new work place.
I have a third school interested in getting me out to LA for a school interview, so I probably will be going back to LA the following weekend. This is my back up school. It’s smaller and way more progressive than I would like. Thank god I invested in TSA Pre Chek. That has literally made life a hell of a lot easier. If you travel a lot, it’s well worth the investment. Comes out to about $20 a year. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard from the top prep school in LA yet. They said they’d reach out in a week or so. I’m really hoping I get a school interview with them. By they time they get their acts together, it may be too late. My body I’m sure is thoroughly confused by all of this traveling.
I turned in my official leave of absence last Friday. It was weird to do, since I thought there was a potential that I would stay at my current school until I retired. But, life happens. I haven’t officially quit yet. It’s almost like my security blanket, in case life in LA doesn’t make the cut. This isn’t even about things between PhD and I. She may not be happy with her job out in LA and may want to make a change. At least I can say that I tried living on the west coast.
PhD and I have hit our one year anniversary mark. Amazing that we made it here given everything that’s happened. Or more so everything we’ve put each other through. This is the longest I’ve ever officially been with someone in a very long time. She gave me the best anniversary present: a PAX 2. I gave her two packs of hair. I know that may sound weird, but trust me, hair can be a big deal to black girls. And this was not cheap hair…
We had a small fight the other night. Our first in a long time. I have this thing about my car. And basically not trusting anyone to drive it. PhD totally sensed it and called me out on it. She was super hurt that my car is not her car. I don’t try to be an asshole about my car, but it’s hard for me to hide. Especially when the person driving it first tries to go down a one-way the wrong direction and then hits a huge pot hole five minutes later. We worked through it though. We had another couples’ therapy session in which she again brought up the fact that she needed to know that I was over BG. I asked her how she would know when I was over BG? What proof do I need to show her that I was over BG? She can’t answer any of those questions. One can’t prove something that isn’t there. I can’t prove that I’m over BG. How do I do that?? PhD wanted/wants to know what prompted the December conversation and what’s happening now. I told her my thoughts, and she still has questions. Nothing I saw will satisfy her I feel like. She will still always and forever be suspicious and wary of my feelings for BG. The trials of dating a woman.
I haven’t spoken to BG since the beginning of December. I haven’t tried to reach out. I haven’t even gone looking for her at her usual spots. I am and will continue to work on moving on. PhD asked if I was moving to LA to forget about BG. I wouldn’t say I was solely moving to LA because of that. Although I’m sure it will help to move somewhere where there are no reminders of any of my past relationships.