On the eve of my birthday…

On the eve of my 36th birthday, I’m happy that I can still consider myself a “mid thirty” year old. Although I’m a little sad that I am closer to forty than thirty at this point. I don’t even know how this happened. How am I already 36? It’s been 18 years since I’ve graduated from high school. It’s crazy how life speeds by. So many experiences since I was 18. So many more new experiences to go through in my next 18 years.

I’ve successfully not smoked one cigarette for a year now. A year ago, I never thought I would be able to make it even a week. I’m so happy I was able to kick that habit. Unfortunately, the twenty pounds that accompanied the quitting process is still with me. Something that I am STILL working on losing. I just signed up for a health system called Isagenix, which I’ve seen first hand amazing success with. I’m going to do a 30 day cleanse with their system. This means drinking shakes to replace two meals and having one clean meal a day. It doesn’t sound fun at all and I’m actually dreading this whole thing, but I’m willing to do something extreme to lose this fucking weight. I’m starting a new blog to document this Isagenix journey. It’s going to be extremely hard for me to be consistent, and I’m hoping the blog will keep me on the Isagenix straight and narrow. I have to keep reminding myself that if I can quit smoking for a whole year, I can stay on a diet for 30 days.

B and I ended well in LA. We had a ton of fun at Dinah Shore. We definitely want to go back for the whole weekend next year. B actually had a young woman want to come back to our hotel with her after the White party. She wasn’t into me, and she wasn’t my type at all. So I nixed that threesome opportunity. With a 21 year old. A decision that B will never let me forget. I’m sure we’ll get another opportunity. I will never lose my optimism.

As far as my other little addiction (to my e). Things haven’t changed. I haven’t reached out. I haven’t gone to places she might be. Although the draw is there. Especially once the weather gets warmer. I still think about her. Obviously. This blog is the only place I’m willing to admit that at this point. I think now that I’ve accepted the job out in LA, my heart is slowly coming to terms with letting her go. I most likely will run into her at some point before I move out of NYC. I’m still not sure how I would react. Truthfully, I don’t trust how I would react around her. Not that I would want to cheat on B with her, but I do still wish we could be friendly and be in each others lives. There goes my optimism again. That pesky little thing.


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