Well, I went out as planned. I was hoping to drag my roommate along, but as always she was a party poop and went to bed. Last night was too nice of a night to just stay at home, and I was itching to go out and have a drink. As predicted, I did run into the e. “Run into” may be too strong of a phrase. We glanced at each other, exchanged a handful of words, and went our separate ways. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t happy to see her. She’s beautiful and attractive. I’ll always have those feelings. She had a new hairstyle I’ve never see on her before. I couldn’t openly look though because we’re not like that anymore. She always asks me the same thing when she sees me out by myself. “What are you doing here?” As if I’m not allowed to be places she’s at. Maybe next time I should have a smart ass answer ready to go.
And as always, I want to open up conversation with her again. Even though it’s been almost five months now since I last spoke to or saw her, I can’t not see her and not want to talk to her and interact with her. I think this is why B gets worried. And this is why I need to control my impulses in terms of trying/wanting to talk to her. The only purpose being served is my own selfish interests in wanting her in my life. No one else gets anything positive out of me reaching out, so I need to just chill out and let it be.
I just wanted to check out the new venue and vibe. I’m a little disappointed with the new place. The old place was so much better in terms of space and cool vibes. It had an upstairs bar area you could hang or downstairs place you could dance. The new place is super cramped, and there’s no where to go. And I really was not feeling the music last night. I’ve been hitting up a lot more house parties with B lately, and I’ve come around to like dancing to house more than top 40s these days. Looking forward to finding new parties in LA in the coming months.