This time around

June 1st! What the fuck. How did it all of a sudden become two weeks before school is over. Just got back from a weekend in LA. My back and forth trips are pretty much done. I have one more trip, and then the next time I go it’s to be a resident of California. It’s surreal. I haven’t even started packing. My roommate is moving out in a couple days. I’ll be happy to be living alone. She’s started getting on my nerves because of how self-absorbed she is. The age old adage is true. Don’t live with friends. You don’t truly know a person until you live with them. I absolutely believe that.

B and I are facing a bit of an apartment crisis. Our plan was to stay in her one bedroom until our dream apartment opened up. We already have the dream apartment picked out. We just need to wait until an apartment opens up there. However, we just found out that staying in her one bedroom may not be an option because her rent is going to skyrocket next year. So now there’s more of an urgent need to find something for an August move in. Not sure how that’s going to work out because B has very specific requirements for an apartment. I’m coming from NYC so any apartment looks good. She’s much more particular about the apartment, and we got into a little disagreement about it right before I left yesterday.

I hate fighting with her. I hate feeling like she’s upset with me. Usually my reaction when she’s upset with me is to retract into myself and shut down. Terrible reaction I know, but it’s hard not to shut down and just try to not care. Moving in together will be a true test of our relationship. My biggest fear is that we’re going to move in together and everything is going to go to shit. We didn’t have an easy time of it last summer when she moved in for about 3 months. Not sure if it’s going to be the same this time around. Circumstances will be different this time around. I will be plucked out of my comfort zone. I won’t have my exes hanging around. I’ll be starting a new life with her. Hopefully that’s enough to keep us afloat. And love and attraction and passion of course!


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